A few days ago I found this iris stuck in my front door. I put it in a container of water and four days later it’s still beautiful. It’s on my desk right now supplying me with a happy bit of beauty. Iris’ have always been one of my favorite flowers. My mom grew them in our backyard. They are an extravagant mix of colors combined with an adorable design: purple petals with bright yellow, furry rows of pollen next to a zebra patterned base.
Juxtapose this beautiful flower with the graffiti I found on my windowsill this morning. The girl who did this is a mixed up mess. But even considering that, what would motivate her to write on someone’s window sill, and worse, write something so ugly? Now I have ‘cunt’ permanently engraved into the wood in my front porch. Hopefully I will be able to remove the ink so it’s not so visible.
This got me thinking. Yesterday I met with Bart, the pastor of CityLife Church. Religiously I’m confused. I see so much ugliness in life, I can’t reconcile that reality with the idea of a perfect, loving God, who made a perfect world. If He knew we were going to mess up, why didn’t he make us with a less corrupt nature? Why doesn’t he intervene more? Why isn’t his existence more obvious? Does He really exist? After all, there was plenty of death in nature before God supposedly made the garden of Eden.
Where exactly is heaven? Where is hell and why do we need a hell? I don’t like the idea of hell even for the most egregious offenses. I think ceasing to exist is plenty enough punishment if punishment is necessary. Plus I think fear-based motivation for religious belief is ridiculous and ineffective. “Believe in x,y, and z or you are going to burn in hell for eternity.”
Why aren’t religious people more wonderful? If believing in God is powerful and truly transforms a person, why isn’t there more evidence of it in people’s lives? There is plenty of ugliness all around me and considering my own flawed character, I understand why. It’s life, it’s what we are.
But why the flower?