For weeks I’ve been floundering, not accomplishing much. I’m stuck and I’m not sure how to get out of this unproductive situation. I’m avoiding the most important task I need to finish — the narrative for the 501c3 application for Minneapolis Swims. I’ve got a plethora of excuses for why I’m not doing it. I have had many distractions, but still I’ve had enough time to finish it and I’m not doing it.
The big question is why? Why am I avoiding it? Two things come to mind. One, I’m not confident. I’ve never done this before and I’m stuck spinning my wheels rather than doing something, even if it’s wrong. The more I procrastinate, the more ashamed of myself I feel. I’m disappointing too many people and that makes me avoid doing it all the more. Dumb!
Two, I’ve been lazy. Too lazy to think hard. Too lazy to make phone calls. To lazy to put sustained effort into getting something done. I flit from distraction to distraction: the laundry, a cup of tea, the news, cooking, talking, eating. I need to focus and just do it.
I’m starting to understand that anything I do requires effort and commitment. Even going camping requires me to find a campground, make reservations, plan the meals, get the gear together. If I approached going camping like I’m approaching the Minneapolis Swims narrative I’d be stuck cruising the DNA website trying to figure out which campground to go to and never actually going camping.
I’ve got too many good ideas and too little discipline to make them a reality. This is not ok. Every day I tell myself that TODAY I’m going to change. Today I’m going to be disciplined and focused. Today I’m going to actually accomplish something of substance. And does it happen? No. Same story different day.
In an effort to change this situation, I’ve decided to blog about my predicament. I’m hoping that by being accountable to this blog to report accomplishments or failures I’ll be more motivated to focus and finish the things I’ve started.
So here goes . . .
I’ll report my progress tomorrow.
