My year overcoming fear and worry has been moving along slowly, to slowly for my liking. I wanted instant relief and I’m not getting it. I’ve been nervous, feeling almost constant anxiety, and worrying about things I have no control over. It’s time for a mental reset. No actually a spiritual reset.
What am I learning?
1. I am not responsible for, or control of, the outcome of the pool project. For three long years I’ve worked to save this pool and I have done my best. If it turns out it’s not the right time for this project because it doesn’t have the support it needs from the park board or school board I need to let go. I am only responsible for myself and it is unwise to get depressed and miserable because I’m not getting my way. Maybe five years from now someone will revive this project and my efforts will have laid the groundwork for their success. Then again, maybe the right people will strongly get behind this project and the pool will be built. I just don’t know and I need to be okay with not knowing.
2. My worth as a human being is not based on the outcome of this project. Enough said.
3. The importance of silence especially when my emotions are raging out of control.
4. Heroes don’t quit. This is a tough one. I’ve wanted to quit. I’ve decided to quit. But I just can’t quit. Even when the outcome seems bleak. Even when the demands are outrageous. Even when the criticism is overwhelming.
5. Trust the process, trust your success. I don’t know the eventual outcome but I know what to do next. Just keep going.
6. Keep communication positive. This is another tough one. When people say stupid things or make stupid decisions I want to rip into them, and I have. And I’m right. But ripping into them doesn’t make them any smarter or improve their decision-making process. It just makes them mad, embarrasses them, or hurts their feelings. So I’m learning to keep my mouth shut when I am irritated with people.